I bought myself a motorbike
And rode it down the street.
I felt the sunlight on my back
The summer air was sweet.
It all felt quite fantastic and
Quite wonderful until
I rode my brand new motorbike
Right up my local hill.
The problem, you’ll see shortly, is
I couldn’t find the brake.
And as I gathered lots of speed
I soon began to quake.
You will be glad to hear that I
Soon drifted to a stop
But not before I plowed right through
A prickly cactus crop!
There’s a man in the moon and I’ve heard he likes cheese.
He likes honey too but the moon has no bees.
I turned on my bluetooth
And then moments passed
For sometimes my bluetooth
Is not very fast
I watched as it searched
And I watched as it scanned
Just looking for headphones
‘Cross oceans and land
I turned on my bluetooth
You’ll think it’s a lie
But then I connected
(I’ve no idea why…)
It truly connected
To something bizarre…
My bluetooth connected
To …
(Can you finish this poem? 😀)
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I had to call a plumber
My kitchen sink was clogged.
My toilet started whining
My drain pipes had been flogged.
The plumber had to hurdle
My weedy garden bed;
He pressed upon the doorbell
And shook his grumpy head.
I said, “Just use a flashlight,
The power doesn’t work.
And just ignore the noises;
The neighbours are berserk.”
The plumber got his tools out
But stepped upon a mouse.
“I will not fix your plumbing.
I think you should move house!”
I pulled the little thread
I gave a little tug
My sweater was so warm
It had me feeling snug
The thread was from the knit
I yanked it with a frown
The sweater fray began
And stitches tumbled down.
At first it was the sleeves
And then it was the back;
I would have fixed it up
But did not have the knack.
And soon it was the front
That simply came undone
And then I lost my arms
They fell off one-by-one!
The next thing that came loose
The next thing that untied
My toes dropped on the floor
And then I bloomin’ cried.
My ears each dangled down
And landed with a plop
When would this shocking dream
At last come to a stop?!
Like poorly knitted socks
My nose slipped off and fell
And then I lost my brows
And eyelashes as well.
I knew at any point
I would soon lose my head—
I wished with all my heart
I had not pulled that thread.
My online inbox brings me daily joy
With every new unopened piece of mail.
While others rue the emails that annoy,
I read each message fast and without fail.
Oh yes, I need to meet Hot Singles here—
It says there’s three online just standing by!
And yes, I need a detox, for I fear
My liver is too moist—or is it dry?
But more than that, I thank the souls that care
That send so many emails just to me;
If not for them I’d still be unaware
That I could get so many things for free!
Of course, I’ve felt most grateful ever since
I learned I’m to inherit from a Prince…
