Don’t Play With Your Food

My Momma always told me
“Robbie, don’t play with your food.
It’s silly and it’s childish
And it comes across as rude.”
But Momma’s famous sayings
Though quite lovely, were not right—
Like “Crusts make hair grow curly
And “You can’t eat eggs at night.”

So when I’d finished college
And I rented my own house,
I cooked up some spaghetti
Stirring quiet as a mouse.
I got some crunchy breadsticks
And some beans that had been stewed,
And then, with glee and glory
Made a sculpture out of food!

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Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2014

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Spreading… Joy

I’ve come up with a contest
A game that’s bright and new.
It’s something fairly simple
That anyone can do.
It must take place in winter
(It can’t be all year round)
Because it’s based on spreading
The common cold around!

Now when the idea struck me
At first, I thought I’d win.
But suddenly remembered
The trains and those within.
The passengers on buses
And elevators too.
The sneezers in your office,
And hallway coughers—Ew.

You see, the art of spreading
The flu both far and wide
Is something in which many
Have skills they just can’t hide.
I’m sure it will be lively
So join the contest please.
For now, though, please excuse me.
I need to go and sneeze.

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Image from Deposit Photos © ainsel 2016

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Grandpa’s Lies

My Grandpa tells me stories
I think they’re sometimes lies.
He tells me he bakes cookies
And mixes in dead flies.
He tells me he’s a psychic,
That he reads Grandma’s mind—
But “All her thoughts are empty
There’s nothing there to find!”

My Grandpa tells me stories
And lots of them aren’t true.
He told me when he was a kid
He ate a horse’s poo.
He told me he’s a ninja
And saves the world from crime
He said “I’d give more details—
But oops!
We’re out of time!

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Image from Deposit Photos © zzve 2014

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Finish This Poem – “Grandma’s Birthday”

Next week is Grandma’s birthday.
I thought I’d buy a horse.
She loves a lot of creatures
She’d love this too, of course.
It turns out they’re expensive,
I had to change my mind,
But what I bought her’s BETTER,
I think that’s what you’ll find.

Next week is Grandma’s birthday,
At first I’d no idea.
But then—a thought just struck me—
I’ll buy her lots of beer!
Alas, she doesn’t drink it,
My thought was not so great.
Besides, I cannot buy it,
Because I’m only eight.

Next week is Grandma’s birthday
And though I am quite poor,
I tipped out my whole piggy bank
Onto my bedroom floor.
Eleven dollars fifty,
I counted it with glee,
So guess what I got Grandma?!

(Can you finish this poem? 😂😀😛)

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Image from Pixabay © blickpixel 2014

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An Ode to Clothing

This is an ode to clothing of
A very special type.
It’s rather undervalued,
There’s never any hype.
This clothing, though, is central
To dignity, and more—
Without it, all our pants would be
In heaps upon the floor.

It’s belts of which I’m speaking,
It’s belts that keep things right.
Without our belts, the world would see
Our undies, pink and white.
These marvellous creations
Robust and cheap and true
They keep our very’ buttcracks
Right out of public view!

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Image from Pixabay © 39839 2013

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Interview with Robbie Yates — Books, Reviews, et al by Shalini

Recently I teamed up with the AMAZING FANTASTIC WONDERFUL PHENOMENAL BRILLIANT Shalini from Digital Reads Blog Tours who ran a seamless blog tour in promotion of Daniel Daniels and the World’s Worst Zoo. If you’re interested, please check out her interview below.

Today I have the sweetest author Robbie Yates here with me, at the end of this blog tour. I am feeling a bit sentimental, a bit nostalgic. It was so fun working and communicating with Robbie 1) Tell me something about yourself. Who is Robbie Yates and what does Robbie Yates do in real life? […]

via Interview with Robbie Yates — Books, Reviews, et al by Shalini

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