My online inbox brings me daily joy
With every new unopened piece of mail.
While others rue the emails that annoy,
I read each message fast and without fail.
Oh yes, I need to meet Hot Singles here—
It says there’s three online just standing by!
And yes, I need a detox, for I fear
My liver is too moist—or is it dry?
But more than that, I thank the souls that care
That send so many emails just to me;
If not for them I’d still be unaware
That I could get so many things for free!
Of course, I’ve felt most grateful ever since
I learned I’m to inherit from a Prince…