Hello, oh waiting mothership.
I write to you to say
That here’s my monthly update:
The last two dozen days.
Another Earthling month has passed.
So quickly it flew by!
They’re still suspecting nothing—
I’m such a wicked spy.
There’s something very weird I saw
I think they called it “sport.”
They got a bouncy object
And fiercely o’er it fought.
And many others watched and yelled
And drank some stuff called beer.
And sometimes, things would happen and
Then everyone would cheer.
So that was an experience
I’d never had before.
It’s curious and wondrous and
It’s tacky, that’s for sure.
I hope, oh loyal mothership
That soon I will be done,
‘Cos though each day’s a challenge and
This trip has been so fun,
I’m ready for a home-cooked meal
Of juicy broiled head.
These people eat gross foodstuffs.
The worst one is called “Bread.”