The Monthly Earth Update

Hello, oh waiting mothership.
I write to you to say
That here’s my monthly update:
The last two dozen days.

Another Earthling month has passed.
So quickly it flew by!
They’re still suspecting nothing—
I’m such a wicked spy.

There’s something very weird I saw
I think they called it “sport.”
They got a bouncy object
And fiercely o’er it fought.

And many others watched and yelled
And drank some stuff called beer.
And sometimes, things would happen and
Then everyone would cheer.

So that was an experience
I’d never had before.
It’s curious and wondrous and
It’s tacky, that’s for sure.

I hope, oh loyal mothership
That soon I will be done,
‘Cos though each day’s a challenge and
This trip has been so fun,

I’m ready for a home-cooked meal
Of juicy broiled head.
These people eat gross foodstuffs.
The worst one is called “Bread.

robot-2023619_1920 - Copy

Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2017

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22 thoughts on “The Monthly Earth Update

  1. When I was there they hit this ball
    With funny-looking stick,
    Until it in a hole did fall,
    Then fished it out, real quick.

    And in this field they romped on
    Till back from whence they came,
    And then some plants they chomped on —
    Yeugh! Think ‘salad’ was the name.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Monthly Earth Update Mothership Response

    Dear Robbie, we so sympathize
    Will your awful plight
    We’re sorry that you have to stay
    Until you get it right

    How can we ever get from you
    An accurate report
    If you can’t even fit in
    Well enough to go for sport?

    We haven’t seen you learn to lie
    Or be needlessly cruel yet
    How far away from human
    Can a spy expect to get?

    Though you’ve provided us relief
    Via many a silly poem
    Until you learn to be an ass
    You’re not coming home!

    (Yours is being reblogged when I post this response — now you’re a known associate)

    Liked by 1 person

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