Bathing

I’ve made a resolution, it’s a vow to which I’ll stick.
It’s something that will make my daily chores so much more quick.
By skipping just one thing, I will get back a whole half-hour:
My brand new resolution is that I won’t bathe or shower.

It’s fairly eco-friendly, cos no water will be used.
No shower cap is needed and all soap will be refused.
The heating for the water makes my power bills so high—
And now they’ll be much lower, yet I’ll hardly need to try.

I hear you saying softly, “Robbie, what about the smell?”
And I’m not one for ponging so I thought that out as well.
So just so putrid odours do not make my buddies sick,
I’ve got some nice cologne that I will spray on really thick.

So if you’d like to join me in rejection of the bath,
Feel free to do the same, for it is sure to bring a laugh.
At least if others like this thought and also come along—
I’ll definitely not be left alone here in my pong.

something stinks

Image from Deposit Photos © scribbles-toons 2013

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28 thoughts on “Bathing

    1. I will just have to persuade you over time 😂

      First I’ll say, “Deepa, did you know you don’t need to use shampoo?”

      A month later, I’ll say, “Did you know, bathing only twice a week is really good for your skin…”

      Before you know it, you’ll be over here with me in the stinky corner 😂

      Like

  1. There is one problem you didn’t think through,
    that is unless you turn off your water mains or electricity your bill will still be due.
    But Robbie mate never fear
    your awesome friend has an idea
    since cologne won’t work for I have tried
    in your boots we will put cow patties you know the ones that look like eggs, fried
    that way when someone says oh robbie you smell like pepe le pew
    you can reply it’s not me it’s my shoes.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your concept is brilliant, and wondrous, and smart,
      And yes, it will have me smell faintly of fart,
      But not only that – there’s a comforting side
      For boots filled with cow pats will be warm inside! 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha ha!!! Did you write this about me?? I bathe, but I always find it such a chore because I have to stop reading to do so! (I used to take baths so I didn’t have to… But, most of the books I have to read for reviews are ebook copies and I’ve learned from personal experience that it is not a good idea to take my phone in the bath with me…. You would think,as an adult, that would have been obvious! 😂😂) all I can say is, thank God for audiobooks, so I can hop in the shower and still “read” otherwise my man may be dragging me into the yard by my hair to hose me down!! 😂😂😂💖🍻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. On the very rare occasion that I buy a new phone, my first question is – “Is it waterproof?” I mean, I don’t percolate in the bath or anything, but between my clumsiness, and my propensity to get caught in the rain, it’s kinda nonnegotiable!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hear that! I’m a pedestrian and I’m pretty sure that getting caught in the rain is my superpower… I mean, don’t get me wrong, I. LOVE. RAIN. I love storms even more. But, with our society now and our propensity to be carrying at least a couple electronic devices around at all time?? NOT NIVE MOTHER NATURE! *shakes fist*

        Liked by 1 person

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