I have an Uncle Jimmy. He is a hairy man.
He has a very long and bushy beard.
And just last week at dinner, I gazed into its depths
And – oh my gosh – a pair of eyes appeared.
“Oh! Look!” I shouted loudly. “There’s something in your beard!”
Uncle Jimmy winked and smiled back.
“I know,” he whispered softly. “A creature lives in there.”
“He likes the dark. I’ve named him Shadow Jack.”
“Is Shadow Jack a monster? Does he bite? Should I be scared?”
My mind was racing. Was he telling fibs?
“No, he is quite harmless. But when it’s dark and late,
He crawls right out and tickles all my ribs.”
This whole time, Mum and Dad had been out plating up our food.
They bought in trays of sausages and pie.
My Uncle Jim said nothing, so then I said nothing too.
Besides, they’d think that it was all a lie.
I sat while we ate slowly. I watched as Uncle Jim
Dropped several peas right down into his beard,
I had to clamp my mouth shut then as merely seconds passed,
And one by one the peas all disappeared.
When Mum and Dad got up to take the empty plates away,
All Uncle Jack said was, “You’ll understand.
This sort of thing is normal. It happens to us all.
You’ll get a creature too when you’re a man.”
And from then on I never saw his Shadow Jack again.
I grew up and, despite what Jim had said,
I never had a creature come and live inside MY beard.
Because I shaved my chin each day instead!